Read part 1 if you haven't already but it doesn’t matter if you don’t <3.
Breaking Free from Victimisation
I decided "Why the hell was I playing the victim?" Yes, people hurt me, and hurt people hurt people, right? I vowed myself the day after my birthday that things would change. I’m not sure how but I will figure it out.. I decided to attend my university campus for the last time (13th Feb 2024) to teach a dance class even though I felt completely nervous and typically on edge. It was like being an elephant in a big room; no one ever confronted me about what happened last year (2023). And… I had mixed feelings about it - a sense of relief but also puzzling.
I decided to go ahead and give myself the closure I needed. Only for me and it was so freeing. This chapter of university life was officially closed and I could move on. I will always cherish the memories (good and bad) because all those were significant lessons. It had built my authenticity and I was starting from square one.
I chose to set clear intentions for the people, situations, and circumstances I wanted around in my life.
I remember finishing the dance class extremely late and as I went back to London via train, it turned into Valentine’s Day (14th Feb 2024 at 23:23). During my train journey back home, I journaled a lot in my journal, wrote some notes in my phone as all the small wins I had achieved so far and set clear goals for that year.
It had refreshed my mind, body, and soul. I looked forward to the unknown of the next chapter of my life.
Understanding the Shadow Self
Even though I was depressed, I decided to purge through all the darkness. I realized that everyone (including me) has all coloured flags: the red and green flags and everything in between.
How did I work with these flags?
I worked on my shadow self.
Shadow self: defined as working on the parts of yourself that trigger you and ultimately do not like.
Therefore, I researched shadow prompt questions and wrote every day for months.
Then finally…
I came to a beautiful conclusion.
I was attaching my self-worth in getting my degree to myself… I lost my sense of identity - what truly matters to me aside from the degree❤️.
Lots of Hugs,
Shayniah Amissah
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