6 reasons why you should advocate for yourself

Let me tell you a story about my advocacy.

It was February 2024 and I was at an all-time low. For one, I removed an IUD due to my mental health breaking, I lost many friends, I could not recognize myself in the mirror and I felt the loneliest I ever felt.

I was on a phone call with a gynecologist who was asking about my IUD and the situation. I told her “I do not want to put this thing in my body ever again due to my mental health going downhill…” She said, “Well you can always try again in 6 months.” I told her more than three times, “no, No, NO - I don't want it. You are not listening to what I am saying.” I remember my whole hands shaking after the phone call.

Do you know why?

That was the first time I have ever advocated for myself about my physical and mental health when it came to my PCOS. I did not want to follow the rules anymore because something looked good on piece of paper. I stood my ground and it was the first time: I felt secure and reassured about everything. My body, my rules. That pivotal moment changed my life forever and to this day I continue to advocate for my health and women's health on social media.

Here are 6 reasons why you should advocate for yourself:

1# You are the only one who knows your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

You are the only one to know what you believe in. We all have different morals, values, and opinions about life. Therefore, once you adopt that, you become more secure in yourself and what you stand for. As a result, no circumstance, situation, or even person can sway you out of it.

2# If your voice is not heard, nothing changes and no one gets fed.

Do you know that your voice allows doors to be open in terms of opportunity? Whether it’s asking questions in a lecture or introducing yourself in a networking event, these pinpoint moments can change your perspective of this. By bringing power into your voice, the result of it is gaining knowledge and fulfillment in even pursuing the converse. You can gain opportunities by just asking.

I have some regret when not putting power in my voice because I was afraid of what other people might think of me. However, once you realise that people only put negative projections because…

1. They do not understand your circumstances.

2. They do not want you to thrive in some situations.

3. They may have some unhealed wounds and insecurities (like don’t we all).

Therefore, reassure yourself that you are the right person to advocate for yourself because if no one does, you are left feeling with the words (”would of, could of”).

3# You do not need to be offensive; be your voice because you owe it to your inner child.

Correct me if I am wrong but probably at least once in your life, you have been told by other people e.g., teachers, friends, or even your own family, that speaking out is determined to be rude and out of character. I believe that it is not to some extent. Especially, when you feel that your situation has been unjustified, there is so much importance to being your cheerleader and advocate. Injustice leaves resentment, and fiction and builds up frustration. Yes, it may not end in some blissful situations to gain what you want. But, that is when decide what no longer serves you and to keep moving forward.

4# You run your life, no one runs it for you.

Remember you are the main character. Not the side character. Not the NPC. So, how are you gonna voice yourself when you think no one values your opinions? This is why I love people because we all come from different cultures, backgrounds, and upbringings which makes us so unique. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me when it comes to voicing my opinions. It is the complete opposite. I like it when others have their voice to project their values and morals. I love heated debates and discussions. The reason why is that I can learn from others for free. Even if everyone agreed with everyone, wouldn’t the world be so boring and everyone would be clones of each other? How sad!

5# The change starts within you, not the external environment.

if you don’t change your internal environment meaning empowering your soul and voice, nothing will change in your outer world. This implementation involves a growth mindset and doing a lot of shadow work uncovering blockages in throat chakras (I have more upcoming about that in my podcast). Fundamentally, realising your flaws and faults right now in the present will help you along your journey of empowerment and your future self will thank you for it.

Malala Yousafzai once said, “When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful.”

6# No one is coming to save you at all.

It does sound pretty harsh but is the truth. Even though humans crave connection with other people, humans sometimes can be unconsciously selfish when it comes to themself. It all comes down to ego, person, and some aspects of personality. It is no one fault so we cannot be quick to judge. All we can do is give them grace and more importantly yourself more grace. Voice empowerment comes when you analyse more about yourself and what you want. It is not about the outside noise. It comes with the noise that is within you. How do you want to change up the volume in your echo and be the advocate for yourself?

Signing off,

Shayniah